Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I'm like, not good at living.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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