1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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