Small penises have feelings too.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
