He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
