WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
