Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
