i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
