can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
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