problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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