ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
