im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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