careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
