i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
