We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
