i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
