He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
As shirtless as possible
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
