She said her name was "party"
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
