ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
