You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
