The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
