plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
