The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize