For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
