if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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