There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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