it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
