apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
