did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
