I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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