hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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