I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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