I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
