just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
