In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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