Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
