I didn't shave. On purpose
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
