how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
