Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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