ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Your mouth is God's brothel.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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