It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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