I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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