im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Welp...herpes.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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