guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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