Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
