we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
