i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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