My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
My hand turned me down
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
