is your mom at the bar?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
