I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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