and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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