I cockslap morals
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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